I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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