Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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