Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize