Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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