I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
smell my finger.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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