Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
