you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
