Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
