Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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