Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
