Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
