im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
