Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
