in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The air taste purple.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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