I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
