What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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