I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This baby is an asshole
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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