Dual....:-)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
