Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
