he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
