it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
