Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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