Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
