She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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