Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
