I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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