absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
