I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
