seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
