It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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