It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
