I got chris browned last night
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
