White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
