u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
