You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we're making bets on your personal life
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
