covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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