The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
