she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
