He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
