Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
