I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
