Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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