i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
