I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize