Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
