ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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