Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize