Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
