got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
