Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
