i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
