Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
