If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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