i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
