i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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