I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
