You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize