I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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