It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
