They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
