so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
